They are often obscured by the very role they have adopted or have been assigned. They’re off times the supporting character in someone else’s real life script, sometimes for their own self-serving reasons, sometimes filling a void in someone else’s life.

They play a myriad of roles from the romantically covert mistresses and undercover boy toys, to the patronizing dry joke promoting friend of that spotlight hogging friend.

They are present in every age bracket from senior citizens to pre teen they exist. Why and how do they function in these roles? The reasons are many stemming from monetary interests to fledging self-esteem.

Let’s look at the ambiguous ones. Let’s  examine the negative and the positive aspects of these roles on these individuals and the impact their roles have on their lives and of those they are involved with.


The friend that is lacking or so it seems, in something that the person they’ve been relegated to patronizing has. Can be looks, economic, standing, social status among a few things.

The Sidekick Friend Defined

Promotes the other’s cause

Always in the outer parameters of the circle they’re around

Never commands the spotlight

Almost always will have some underlying self-esteem short coming

Question for discussion. What’s the benefit to the sidekick and the person they’re befriending?


Characteristics- under performer/ achiever– lazy/ not qualified for their position

Promotes and patronizes others to compensate for lack of performance

Always grinning and cooning around the boss

Prone to dry snitching

Can be detrimental to a career


You all know this one very well. She gets more than her fair share of press. The   mistress, side bitch, ride-or-die chick, jump off, etc. In reality a side chick is a woman who is one level above a casual sex partner, but always a step below the wife or girlfriend. She delivers all the things the main woman won’t or can’t do.

Side Kick Chick Rules of Engagement

She must be someone he can have fun with, but not expect any commitment

She almost always has to possess some beauty, sexual or physical attribute the main woman lacks

She has to give him what he’s not getting from his main lady or wife.

She must accept and maintain her role and never challenge it

She must and will be there for emotional support, when main relationship encounters issues.

She must have something to lose. That’s right. If she doesn’t..She’s extremely dangerous. She has to accept an on call status and respond on the spot

She has to relinquish holidays and high-profile social events to the main woman


Similar in roles to the side kick chick, yet different in functionality. Yeah women make those B calls too. To that guy in waiting. Guys you know who you are. You paint a picture of testrone in demand by tagging your selves, Casanovas, players, and the like, but the true reality of is , you’re the on call boo, in case of emergency dude, the just in case guy,  or the ambiguous, homeboy. She’s got a main man and you simply fill in where you fit in.

The Side Guy Rules of Engagement

He has to except “its” not “his” you all know what I mean

He can never put her “out there” with loose lips and reckless bragging

He can never challenge the husband’s or boyfriend’s role

Jealously is an emotional trait he cannot have

He has to excel at what her main man is falling short of (sex, financial security, emotional engagement)

He can’t have another woman besides her (at least she better not get wind of it)

He has to have something to lose or…he can be dangerous.

Question for discussion. Why do men relegate themselves to this role?


One who deters the socialization of a couple, perhaps when being invited out of pity or through a feeling of duty Also known as baggage, cockblocker, the shadow.

Doesn’t have a life of their own

Almost always hanging out with an already established couple

Sometime used by the couple

Knew one or both members of the relationship they’re hanging around

I’ve touched on only but a few ambiguous  personalities that maybe latched on to you. Take an inventory of the people around you and ask yourself why are they there.


Author: Geo Gee

I'm a curious one that finds politics, social issues, and diverse progressive solutions interesting. I believe information and education are the most powerful weapons one can arm himself with. Those two dynamics alone open the doors to opportunities. I also subscribe to each one teach one for a better world for all.

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