As long as there has been man and woman this question has been alive and well with a myriad of conclusions. To be sure, unless men have really invested some serious time in getting to know their female counterparts, women can be a bit perplexing at times.
However, most men learn from past relationships, sisters, moms, and female friends the important and beneficial things about women and tend to go on and do very well in relationships and (dare I say the word?) marriage.
As men mature, they adopt individual desires, and needs when it comes to women and relationships. They wean off Mom’s nurturing, and the confidant sister, and begin looking for these and many other attributes in a woman that would make a suitable mate or companion.
First off, big booties and open legs are not at the top of the list of things a man is looking for in a serious mate. “Whaaaaat??????? Are you sure Geo????? . Hey girl, get my glasses, I’m not seeing this right” Oh eye candy is always good to get window shopper interested, however, consider this.
Sex has become such a wholesale commodity, it has rapidly declined in value, to the point it can be without a commitment of any sort. So why in the hell would it be on any man’s requisite for that special woman? Our liberal cultural values dictate its going to be part of the commitment package at some point down the road at some juncture, so why should a real man devalue a real woman by placing it out of context with what he really wants?.Men know they do not have to commit to a relationship, or even seek out a hooker these days if sex is all he wants, and he certainly does not have to “play” one woman to get it. So what is it we want now?
First off, we want to be men. Real men want the opportunity to lead, to earn respect and admiration based on his honesty, integrity, and commitment. Men want to be needed. Men are hardwired as providers requiring nourishment in this area through our women needing us for something other men cannot provide. It can be as complex as the role we play in the volatile balance or a career mom’s time with the family or as simple as our physical and emotional impact on the relationship. Our reward is a stroked ego and another bonding agent that strengthens the relationship.
Many an exotic dancer, okay, well stripper, has said many men frequenting their place of employment do not come for the floorshow, or lap dance, or oftentimes to simply talk. There is a voluminous, yet simplistic message in that observation from the strippers. It’s not always about sex, oftentimes it’s about being listened to and getting a response to validate what was listened to, was in fact heard.
We want a woman that cares about herself and us. We want an honest woman with esteemed morals and values. If one does not respect one’s self, they most certainly are not going to respect you or anything you stand for. Two-sided coin here, I know ladies, but this post is about what men want.
We want you to be there in our weakest moments, not just our brightest hours. Pro athletes and celebrities have not gotten that one yet. Endless are the tales of the star or celebrity that had the committed significant other literally support them as they lived sparsely off rations and in dilapidated surroundings while struggling to the rewards of stardom. Then they dump the committed one once they have made it and fall for the first blatant cash grabber hiding behind make-up and designer labels only to be abandoned when the descent down the success ladder begins. Number one rule of thumb. If they wouldn’t give you the time of day as a normal Joe, they are probably not arm in arm with you because of you when you make it big. Best stick with that college sweetheart that could fix beans six ways to Sunday and wasn’t ashamed to go to five dollar movies in your beat up Pinto. Karma has a way of coming home to roost people and it is always at the most inopportune time.
We want a smart woman. No, you do not have to have a Harvard PHD or be CEO of anything. I’m talking about smart about themselves and the world around them. Making smart choices and concrete decisions based on who you are and what you represent. We want women that are smart about men, because if you are not smart about men, we know there are some men out there that are capable of making it child’s play when it comes to wrecking the relationship we are trying to build with you. If you don’t know what you want, it is very easy for someone else to convince you into buying into what they want only for themselves.
We want you to be women. There is no need to discard your identity, or independence. That is the worst thing you can do. We want you to be Rita, Hade, Claire, Laverne, Madge, Barbara, Lynette, Zena, Deidra, big, small, brown, yellow, tan, short, tall, big hips, small hips, big breasts, and small breasts. We want YOU, not some facsimile of what some make-up marketing agent or movie casting mogul suggest you should be.
Still no sex huh? Okay here goes.
Of course we want not just sex; on the contrary, we want real satisfying intimacy. We want episodes and encounters that are unique to you. We acknowledge there are many variables that merge and gel in a real relationship that add value, meaning, and off the charts emotional and physical bliss to the low locking boot knocking rendezvous. That is why a man that really interested in cultivating a relationship will have his bull’s eye on the entire woman, not just part of the woman.
That is why a real man will not only want, but he will unequivocally need you.