“There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man … a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as evolution. It resides between light and shadow, between the scrotum and the cotex. It challenges a man’s fears and tests the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination and lust.” – GeoGee
There are some good guys out here that really are in the pursuit of that woman for all she is and all she wants to be. He’s not looking for just ass (he can see all that he wants to see just walking downtown at lunchtime). He’s not looking for a one, two, three, hookup – I’m out encounter. He ‘s looking for a woman with substance, style, class, personality, sexuality, and discipline.
This post is about a place a lot of well-meaning men find themselves.
So you’ve landed a dinner date with that lovely lady that caught your eye and harnessed your attention. She’s committed to drinks and or dinner.
You have a good feeling about this one and you don’t want to mess it up. Every gentleman has been there and done that.
You want to provide a fulfilling and exciting evening without going out of bounds. Under most circumstances, this is easy. However, what if the lady is flirting with the flames of the low go.
This is no longer checkers – it’s chess.
Evaluate the situation during drinks or dinner. Here is where you garner an understanding of what kind of woman you’re dealing with. You could have a first class lady on your hands or a hot to trot hit and run one and done trick. I’m not casting any kind of aspersions on the latter. As a mater of a fact I applaud her for being honest if she is straight up about just wanting sex.
Let your confidence and morals guide you but don’t blow her off for cheap if she’s talking sensibly. Her honesty about wanting sex doesn’t make her a “ho”.
Guide her to a second get together while getting to know more about her on that date.
After the dinner or drinks and you’re in the cab or car, keep the conversation funny and light. Stay clear of pointed sex talk. That’s off-putting and creepy. This is all fun and games; nobody is getting mauled or groped here.
Back at the homestead, engage in an activity.
Pull up a movie, or put on some music she likes.
If you’re at her place, inquire about the history of some of the furnishings of her house or apartment. How did she decide on the paint color coordination? Who are those people in the pictures? Don’t ask questions to make small talk. Ask because you want to know more about her.
If you’re at your place talk about some of the things displayed on your shelves or hanging on your walls.
Make a drink (in plain view, so she knows you’re not slipping her a Cosby).
If she’s been in heels all night remove her heels and invite he to relax. Give her feet a strong 5 minute massage.
Keep the conversation flowing. The more you get to know about her will confirm if a second date is good for either of you or if tonight is what this really is all about.
You know at this point you and her really know the deal. I’m suggesting conversation because, as a gentleman, it shouldn’t matter to you whether this is a sexcapade.
What should matter first is this woman is a human being with thoughts and feelings that will be with her long after you’re gone.
Morals and values should always precede lust.
That’s why you talk to her. If she’s straight up looking for sex on the first date, and you’re looking for a more in-depth relationship, this is not your gi
This is not a smear on women that want nothing but sex. As a matter of a fact, I applaud them for being honest.
Guys, sometimes we have to lean on the strength women expect us to have. Sometimes we have to say no to the one night stand in our quest for the total package and full spectrum. Sometimes we have to say no to the open invitation to just open legs and walk away.
This kind of restraint will get you ranked real high on a lot of women’s “good men” polls.
You know how some women save us from ourselves sometimes when our little “head” has us about to engage in something with someone that knows better? We as gentlemen have to do the same for some women. Save them from their little “head” wearing the hood that’s gotten into the head with the luscious lips, beautiful eyes and lovely hair. A gentleman never loses control of his moral and virtuous faculties.
Saying “no” to a woman in any context is difficult to impossible for most men – we will literally die rather than fail to protect or service them. As Karen Straughan has pointed out, male politicians have catered to women’s needs and political demands long before women even got the vote – A Voice For Men
Therefore, at the end of that first date, seduction is not a prerequisite prerogative of neither party. Whether the relationship ends that night or progresses to eternity, she should always be human first and foremost and never ever a sexual statistic.