Sunday morning sleeping heathens and transgressors this one is for you.
Bedside Baptist St. Mattress Pillow Presbyterian, The Church of Holy Slumber, on a Sunday morning?
These are clever ways of saying that you slept in and missed church! Ah, yes. Good old Bedside Baptist, where Pastor Pillow and Deacon Sheets preside with somnolent gravity.
Among some communities of Christians, it’s virtually a mortal sin to miss church for no good reason, and so several playful metaphors have arisen in the past 50 years to downplay the fact that you missed church.
Instead of saying that you slept in, you can jokingly admit that you were actually attending another church—Bedside Baptist, St. Mattress, or a variety of other places.
Who needs to know that the church was nothing more than your bedposts and pillow and comforter! It’s just like telling your friends you were at St. Arbucks on a Sunday morning, when you were really nose-deep in a frothy cappuccino and the morning paper.
Crusty eyes, bologna breath and all.
Ya sleeping asses get clapped back at Bedside Baptist, St. Mattress