1. Do not be outwardly fearful of wasps.
2. Pretend to receive a phone call from Keanu Reeves. Speak loudly enough that the entire office believes you to be talking to Keanu Reeves. Arrive late to work the next day, but refuse to explain why — your crush will think you’ve been partying with Keanu Reeves, Hollywood star.
3. Backchat your boss. Wink at your crush while doing so. Roll your eyes and yawn at any disciplinary measures your line manager threatens.
4. Browse dating websites during the working day. If your line manager asks what you’re doing, shout I’M BROWSING DATING WEBSITES. That way, the whole office will know you’re single and available.
5. Release locusts into the air-conditioning system. You will seem stoic when everyone else is freaking out about it being the end of the world. (Refer to the office’s discipline code — if there’s no explicit mention of locusts, you should be OK.) Don’t stop at 5 there are 28 more here.–>: 33 fail-safe instructions for getting noticed by your office crush, guaranteed 133% successful. — P.S. I Love You — Medium